Author Topic: What is your Doctor writing in your chart?  (Read 1809 times)

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Offline kattboots

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What is your Doctor writing in your chart?
« on: May 05, 2011, 05:04:17 PM »
Ever wonder what the doc is actually writing down in your chart?

HOSPITAL CHARTING BLOOPERS (actually taken from hospital charts)

1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills,
    but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated, and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.
 LOL LOL LOL

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Online blueday

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Re: What is your Doctor writing in your chart?
« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2011, 05:13:27 PM »
LOL  These are brilliant Katt.

I love number 9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission and 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

blue

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Offline wnanhee

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Re: What is your Doctor writing in your chart?
« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2011, 05:18:04 PM »
Hah ha ha...
What an incredibly smart and funny list!
My favorite one is number-4. She has no rigors or shaking chills,
    but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
  LOL :-[ ;D

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Offline lipstick

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Re: What is your Doctor writing in your chart?
« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2011, 05:19:21 PM »
Omg katt these are to die for!!!!!! And best part of all they are real! No wonder when you go see the doctor they hide that chart. Now i know why.

Thanks for making me laugh!

Lips

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Online rena35

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Re: What is your Doctor writing in your chart?
« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2011, 07:51:34 PM »
ya katt im still laughing  LOL
happy spinning

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Online Johnny Karp

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Re: What is your Doctor writing in your chart?
« Reply #5 on: May 06, 2011, 06:16:37 AM »
Number four is my favorite as well, brilliant! Thanks a lot for the list, it made my day!
"Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game." -- Michael Jordan

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Offline Feelin froggy

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Re: What is your Doctor writing in your chart?
« Reply #6 on: May 06, 2011, 06:45:13 AM »
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

LMAOOOOOOOOOO

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Offline kattboots

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Re: What is your Doctor writing in your chart?
« Reply #7 on: May 06, 2011, 10:45:14 AM »
Hey All! I am just pickled tink that you are all enjoying this list as much as I did!  LOL

 

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