Author Topic: The Power Men Have...  (Read 3152 times)

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Online lipstick_xoxos

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Re: The Power Men Have...
« Reply #15 on: January 13, 2011, 01:26:44 PM »
I would imagine it is very hard sweet. But i have to admit i love your openess! I give you a lot of respect for that.

Ok enuff of the praise to you for awhile....... ;)

Offline Rosebud

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Re: The Power Men Have...
« Reply #16 on: January 13, 2011, 01:43:16 PM »
Wow blue,your story sounds like a mirror of my previous life.Thank God we both got out!!! I have been with my honey 5 years today and I couldn't be happier.Lips all you can do is be there for your friend and hope she comes to her senses.She is young and probably because of him feels worthless and unlovable.Hopefully she will see that she is worthy and that NO ONE should be treated without respect and love.
Very sad stories indeed Imagin and Slot.

I have suffered at the hands of a violent, womanising alcoholic in the past and that lasted 5 years.  The violence started 3 weeks after we got married.

I found myself thinking that I can't manage without him, I love him, it will pass, he won't do it again.  In fact, none of these things were true.  I did manage without him, I didn't love him, it didn't pass and he did do it again.  The womanising alcoholic in my life was having an affair 6 months before I eventually left him (he told me this after the divorce).  After the divorce, he married this woman he had been having an affair with.  This lasted 7 years and she just packed her bags and left him one night after work.  I understand that he is now living with a woman who is violent to him.  He also is suffering with cancer.

Only the woman suffering has the power to stop this- they will not listen to you.  They probably don't believe you (but "secretly" they know you are talking sense and it's true).  Burying your head in the sand is a classic move when you don't really want to face the problem head on.  The only way they will get to realise how badly they are being or have been treated is if another man that they find attractive treats them with respect and makes them feel like a human again.

Yes men have a power but when they misuse that power, they lose the power and it takes a really strong person to walk away from what they believe is the truth i.e. that their man loves them and only them.

Truth of the matter is that you are right Slot Junkie - we do have the power and we learn how to use it as we get older, wiser and know where the invisible line is drawn that no man dare cross.

I could go on and on but I won't.  The above is a very brief few thoughts.

blue

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Offline Imagin.ation

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Re: The Power Men Have...
« Reply #17 on: January 13, 2011, 02:49:47 PM »
Blue and Slot i i copied and printed your stories i want her to read them, i want her to know she is not alone that it does happen, that his ill treatment is REAL and is NOT love, i want her to read the devastation and heartbreak she will spend her life in if she doesn't start seeing the truth these words here that Blue wrote are VERY powerful and straight out truth..
"Only the woman suffering has the power to stop this- they will not listen to you.  They probably don't believe you (but "secretly" they know you are talking sense and it's true).  Burying your head in the sand is a classic move when you don't really want to face the problem head on.  The only way they will get to realise how badly they are being or have been treated is if another man that they find attractive treats them with respect and makes them feel like a human again"

To continue the story... well, she blamed the 16 yr old saying he told her it was her that initiated and persude HIM, that he wasn't at fault... and cussed me and her sister out for trying to explain what a pig she is in love with (we started with supporting her relationship as best we could but words blurted out we DO mean to say). We tried to tell her that a 16 yr old is immature and for some it is hard to say no, not that they want it, they just don't really know how to handle these types of situations, how easy and convenient for him... she thinks he is innocent and did no wrong..she beleives him.. what hurts too is the child is embarressed and hurt, scared that its her fault and they will seperate (she didn't do anything other then be a teenager) aaaahhh it makes me sick, IF that was the case being 26 yrs old, the child being a relative, there should of been NO OTHER kind of exchange what so ever between them.. like "thats a nice compliment but you're a little too young", find someone your age" SOMETHING.. anything else... i know that the MORE we try to convince her the more she will reject our advice BUT.. deep down somewhere she IS listening, with this she will have a little strength when the time comes and won't be such a surprise..

I just can't see her with him and what's happening, she is so blind, she's not even understanding the real term of "stand by your man" she's standing by a manipulative, controlling, lying PIG
Use Your Imagination

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Offline Rosebud

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Re: The Power Men Have...
« Reply #18 on: January 13, 2011, 03:21:13 PM »
oops..sorry lips I should of put  in imagin and not you in about her friend....my bad...hangs head in shame.Dang another senior moment!!!LOL!!
Wow blue,your story sounds like a mirror of my previous life.Thank God we both got out!!! I have been with my honey 5 years today and I couldn't be happier.Lips all you can do is be there for your friend and hope she comes to her senses.She is young and probably because of him feels worthless and unlovable.Hopefully she will see that she is worthy and that NO ONE should be treated without respect and love.
Very sad stories indeed Imagin and Slot.

I have suffered at the hands of a violent, womanising alcoholic in the past and that lasted 5 years.  The violence started 3 weeks after we got married.

I found myself thinking that I can't manage without him, I love him, it will pass, he won't do it again.  In fact, none of these things were true.  I did manage without him, I didn't love him, it didn't pass and he did do it again.  The womanising alcoholic in my life was having an affair 6 months before I eventually left him (he told me this after the divorce).  After the divorce, he married this woman he had been having an affair with.  This lasted 7 years and she just packed her bags and left him one night after work.  I understand that he is now living with a woman who is violent to him.  He also is suffering with cancer.

Only the woman suffering has the power to stop this- they will not listen to you.  They probably don't believe you (but "secretly" they know you are talking sense and it's true).  Burying your head in the sand is a classic move when you don't really want to face the problem head on.  The only way they will get to realise how badly they are being or have been treated is if another man that they find attractive treats them with respect and makes them feel like a human again.

Yes men have a power but when they misuse that power, they lose the power and it takes a really strong person to walk away from what they believe is the truth i.e. that their man loves them and only them.

Truth of the matter is that you are right Slot Junkie - we do have the power and we learn how to use it as we get older, wiser and know where the invisible line is drawn that no man dare cross.

I could go on and on but I won't.  The above is a very brief few thoughts.

blue


Offline Imagin.ation

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Re: The Power Men Have...
« Reply #19 on: January 13, 2011, 03:54:23 PM »
Rosebud, it's no problem at all it happens alot.. and it is an HONOR to be called Lips! She's absolutely the best!
Use Your Imagination

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Re: The Power Men Have...
« Reply #20 on: January 14, 2011, 04:17:54 AM »
Thank God indeed Rosebud.

There are a lot of other very sad elements to my story which I don't really want to talk about here. I did find out about two years ago that my ex had held a knife to his 2nd wife's throat!  Thank God she got out too.

Imagin - I truly hope you showing our stories to your friend helps but I don't think that it will to be honest.  Your friend is (secretly) hoping that he will change and trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.  That's the mentality when you are in a "relationship" such as this.  You truly believe that things will get better but they don't.   You actually believe the promise "I will never do it again". but they always do do it again....and again....and again.

Do keep us posted.

blue

Offline Rosebud

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Re: The Power Men Have...
« Reply #21 on: January 14, 2011, 04:39:17 AM »
Blue and Imagin,thanks for the kind words!!! You are so right about hoping they will change,the only change is usually for the worse.They go from the I'm sorry..it will never happen again (the honeymoon stage) to the next time...which is usually worse.One big vicious cycle.My ex continued to be the same with other women and then he met his match and has a bad scar on his face as a reminder.He is alone now and I almost feel sorry for him....almost!! Imagin,I trully hope your friend gets out before it's to late.Time for her to dump the loser and find her inner strength and beauty and then find someone who deserves her love and respect.

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Re: The Power Men Have...
« Reply #22 on: January 14, 2011, 06:58:15 AM »
I'm so glad you're happy now Rosebud.  You definitely deserve to be.

blue

Offline The Mind Doc

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Re: The Power Men Have...
« Reply #23 on: January 14, 2011, 07:00:18 AM »
While you cannot change her circumstance, you can support her.  And people going through situations like that sure NEED support!

She'll need to find the strength and will to break away from this fellow.  As Lips told in her story, sometimes that takes a few years.  Even the strongest woman may "hang in there" for years.  But, the chances of this man changing are pretty slim to none. 

 

 
 

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