Very sad stories indeed Imagin and Slot.

I have suffered at the hands of a violent, womanising alcoholic in the past and that lasted 5 years.  The violence started 3 weeks after we got married.

I found myself thinking that I can't manage without him, I love him, it will pass, he won't do it again.  In fact, none of these things were true.  I did manage without him, I didn't love him, it didn't pass and he did do it again.  The womanising alcoholic in my life was having an affair 6 months before I eventually left him (he told me this after the divorce).  After the divorce, he married this woman he had been having an affair with.  This lasted 7 years and she just packed her bags and left him one night after work.  I understand that he is now living with a woman who is violent to him.  He also is suffering with cancer.

Only the woman suffering has the power to stop this- they will not listen to you.  They probably don't believe you (but "secretly" they know you are talking sense and it's true).  Burying your head in the sand is a classic move when you don't really want to face the problem head on.  The only way they will get to realise how badly they are being or have been treated is if another man that they find attractive treats them with respect and makes them feel like a human again.

Yes men have a power but when they misuse that power, they lose the power and it takes a really strong person to walk away from what they believe is the truth i.e. that their man loves them and only them.

Truth of the matter is that you are right Slot Junkie - we do have the power and we learn how to use it as we get older, wiser and know where the invisible line is drawn that no man dare cross.

I could go on and on but I won't.  The above is a very brief few thoughts.

blue

Wow blue,your story sounds like a mirror of my previous life.Thank God we both got out!!! I have been with my honey 5 years today and I couldn't be happier.Lips all you can do is be there for your friend and hope she comes to her senses.She is young and probably because of him feels worthless and unlovable.Hopefully she will see that she is worthy and that NO ONE should be treated without respect and love.

Quote from: blueday on January 12, 2011, 06:11:05 PM

Very sad stories indeed Imagin and Slot.

I have suffered at the hands of a violent, womanising alcoholic in the past and that lasted 5 years.  The violence started 3 weeks after we got married.

I found myself thinking that I can't manage without him, I love him, it will pass, he won't do it again.  In fact, none of these things were true.  I did manage without him, I didn't love him, it didn't pass and he did do it again.  The womanising alcoholic in my life was having an affair 6 months before I eventually left him (he told me this after the divorce).  After the divorce, he married this woman he had been having an affair with.  This lasted 7 years and she just packed her bags and left him one night after work.  I understand that he is now living with a woman who is violent to him.  He also is suffering with cancer.

Only the woman suffering has the power to stop this- they will not listen to you.  They probably don't believe you (but "secretly" they know you are talking sense and it's true).  Burying your head in the sand is a classic move when you don't really want to face the problem head on.  The only way they will get to realise how badly they are being or have been treated is if another man that they find attractive treats them with respect and makes them feel like a human again.

Yes men have a power but when they misuse that power, they lose the power and it takes a really strong person to walk away from what they believe is the truth i.e. that their man loves them and only them.

Truth of the matter is that you are right Slot Junkie - we do have the power and we learn how to use it as we get older, wiser and know where the invisible line is drawn that no man dare cross.

I could go on and on but I won't.  The above is a very brief few thoughts.

blue