I Say Go Ahead And Cry

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Last post made 13 years ago by jaybean
Lipstick
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  • Hiya Guys and Dolls,

    Does the man in your life cry? Or does he come from the school of thought that real men don't cry. I have known a few men in my life that think crying is a sign of weakness. I never quite understood that mentality.

    I think a man who cries is confident in who he is and is not afraid to show his emotions. But when a man cries it is a powerful thing.

    I cry at the drop of a hat. I am very sentimental that way. I know a few females too that don't cry too often. I cry when i am happy and of course when sad. Even sometimes when i get really mad. But i hate myself for crying when i get mad cuz i don't want to!!

    Would you consider yourself a crier or not?

    Lips
  • I cry often, and get over it fairly quickly.  It's a release.
    Jake cries often, and gets over it immediately.  It's a ruse.

  • Men are not supposed to cry.  It shows weakness (at least that's how it's perceived imo).  Men are supposed to be pilliars of strength.  Stoic, unrelenting, fearless.  Look at the popular programming of how "respected" men are presented: Dirty Harry, Father Knows Best, John Wayne, "The Fonz" to name a few.

    Moreover, these "stones of granite" are revered as sex symbols.  There's a quote in the movie "Love Actually"...."no one's going to (have sex) with you if you cry all the time."
    The images are hard to overcome.

  • Valid points there Joseph and very true. I think no matter how much women try to portray themselves as equals to men, some still look for a "protector" type man.Dating back to cavemen days. The man who was the best hunter was the man that women wanted.

    Lips
  • Believe it or not, there are schools for men to learn to act that way and one school I think the top prize is a trip to the Playboy mansion.

  • That would be enough to make any man not cry! Maybe they need some of those incentives for the girlies like a trip to .....um they don't have a mansion where there is all men do they!
  • they probably do and they probably don't let girls in!

  • that's all i ever do lately...just started therapy
    hehe.... laugh_out_loud

  • Well i a watching idol now and there is the cutest little boy who just cried so hard cuz he made it..........sigh i had to cry with him!

    Lips
  • oh i just saw that....i hate when they cry when they don't get on, then i almost cry.
    hey...i cried on oprah today...hehe

  • i freaking almost cried when i was playing mayan queen and the pyramids lined up in the center position on lines 1, 2, 4 and 5 and the mayan queen went past ONE SYMBOL on the center row!!  that crazy queen always makes me want to cry but i think she is a hotty hahahaah  go figure

  • I'll put on my old Psychologist's hat.  If you HOLD BACK crying, you'll end up in trouble.  Not good.  Don't recommend!

  • ya doc..you are definately right.  i clouded my mind with my
    indiscretions ...drinking, drugs, etc, now too much gambliing
    its all the same.  but when you stop it all, and give it a good look,
    then all those crys that were locked away come out...
    i never realized how much crap i blotted out with my gambling, until
    these last couple months since i have stopped....it is like being an
    exposed nerve.... shocked


  • Men are not supposed to cry.  It shows weakness (at least that's how it's perceived imo).  Men are supposed to be pilliars of strength.  Stoic, unrelenting, fearless.  Look at the popular programming of how "respected" men are presented: Dirty Harry, Father Knows Best, John Wayne, "The Fonz" to name a few.

    Moreover, these "stones of granite" are revered as sex symbols.  There's a quote in the movie "Love Actually"...."no one's going to (have sex) with you if you cry all the time."
    The images are hard to overcome.


    That's wonderful input from a man's view Joseph.  I learned a lot from your post and think I understand my husband more now.  He will only cry if it has become so so awful whatever that may be and when he does it tears me apart.  Just seeing him cry makes me cry also.  It is pretty intense when he does finally cry.  You might call it a breakdown.  A man crying can be a very powerful thing.

  • that's all i ever do lately...just started therapy
    hehe.... laugh_out_loud


    I also started therapy about 6 months ago.  I still do not cry very often at all.  And after reading your other post I know it is because I am still gambling.  My doctor said for me to stop the gambling so we can see what is really making me sad.  I don't want to stop...even though I know I should, many times over.  I was very very luck the last two months of 2010.  So when you are on a losing streak it makes you keep playing in hopes of the past luck to return.  My doctor even said for my husband to take the modem to work with him and plug it back up when he gets home.  I told my husband what she said and he said he isn't stupid.....lol and that I would be XXXXX if he did that.  He is right....I would survive and could live without it but either I don't want to or I am replacing it with something that is missing or not right.   I do feel better since I have started counceling but I have not had a major crying episode and I rarely cry at all unless it has to do with my gambling.  I'm going to continue my therapy and I hope you do also Jaybean.  It seems like you are on a very healthy road.  I hope to really have a breakthrough soon like you have.  It looks like you release so much when it happens.  I just wanted to tell you I am proud of you and I wish you continued success on this amazing road of recovery.
  • I'm a crier.  Sit me at a wedding or funeral and the tears start falling (doesn't matter if I know the bride/groom or deceased).

    I cry at over a touching letter received, a very kind heartfelt word, some commercials.. just about anything.  One shocker for me is I did NOT cry while watching The Notebook.  I would have but someone told me I wouldn't just need a Kleenex, I would need a dish towel for the tears.  I held back... forcing myself to be stoic.

    When I saw a tear in my dads eye at my wedding, I was so touched, until he told me he had had a small skin cancer removed and it wasn't a tear but ointment.  Still don't believe that story. smiley  Don't want to.

    My husband has cried and the most touching was when I saw tears after the birth of each of our kids. 

    If my husband cried as easily as me... uh, different story.  It would be a major turnoff for me.  A man who shows emotion rarely is a man who you know is touched deeply.  A man who cries at the drop of a hat is just a big ole' crybaby. smiley



  • Men are not supposed to cry.  It shows weakness (at least that's how it's perceived imo).  Men are supposed to be pilliars of strength.  Stoic, unrelenting, fearless.  Look at the popular programming of how "respected" men are presented: Dirty Harry, Father Knows Best, John Wayne, "The Fonz" to name a few.

    Moreover, these "stones of granite" are revered as sex symbols.  There's a quote in the movie "Love Actually"...."no one's going to (have sex) with you if you cry all the time."
    The images are hard to overcome.


    That's wonderful input from a man's view Joseph.  I learned a lot from your post and think I understand my husband more now.  He will only cry if it has become so so awful whatever that may be and when he does it tears me apart.  Just seeing him cry makes me cry also.  It is pretty intense when he does finally cry.  You might call it a breakdown.  A man crying can be a very powerful thing.



    I agree that when a man cries, it's very powerful.

    I think there is a huge difference between a 'man who cries all the time'. Turnoff.  and a man who cries rarely and over a very life altering, touching or rare occurance.

    Didn't The Fonz once shed a tear when Marion called him family?  I thought so, but could be wrong. smiley
  • God gave men tears just like he gave women!
    My man cries all the time and I promise you he doesn't have a "weak" bone in his body! I tell him frequently one of the reasons that I am so attracted to him is because of the way he makes me feel so protected. I know as long as he is around NO ONE is going to harm me...period!

    It starts with us telling our boys from the beginning "be tough", "your not supposed to cry", "shake it off", "it doesn't hurt that bad", you are not supposed to play with dolls even if it is a boy doll...and from that point is where they start having "expressing their feelings" problems. They are forced very young to put on the " it doesn't hurt me/bother me/affect me face!" And when they get older, the women and children in their lives tend to suffer, imo!

    I have all boys and they are allowed to cry when they are physically hurt and emotionally hurt.  And encouraged to express why they were brought to tears. It helps them to communicate and understand themselves as well as start learning how to manage/be in control of their emotions!

    My youngest used to want to play father to teddy bears, boy babies and I let him. And let me tell you, he is only 9 but is the most loving, helpful little guy to all babies and kids younger than him! Of all my boys he is my "soldier!" Tough as they come! He does cry, but he has to really be in a lot of pain or really hurt about something! And because he is so caring for people, if someone has done something to make him cry...WATCH OUT!

    Crying helps cleanse your soul! Men, you clean your body, your car, clothes, house...clean your soul too!

    My husband, my boys and myself are all very passionate people(especially me) so we are often touched by many things. It doesn't mean they are punks or cry babies. They are people with deep, passionate souls and they don't mind it being exposed!

    Either way, I don't believe a man will ever cry as much as a woman! It is just one of the ways that men and women are different!

    I have no punks in my camp! Only handsome, very strong, loving, passionate men and young men!!!!

  • Yeah....keep in mind, good people, repressing (stuffing!) things like grief, anger, etc. is a dangerous business in the long run.

  • Lips, when i read your 1st post it made me cry.  I break  down every time I write or tell a story about my black lab I had to have put to sleep 3 plus years ago at 17 years old.  Its tough losing your best friend. 

  • Gunny how i can relate to that. The thought of losing one of my dogs flips me out. Sometimes i just look at them and think about how short their lives are and it scares me half to death.

    They are definitely the best friends we could ever have. Bless your heart you loved your black lab enough to not let your baby suffer any longer.

    Lips

  • Slot junkie i couldn't imagine anything less in your "camp". Your passion shines through in all your posts and it is contagious.

  • wow, thanks!....i really have been putting off since the 80's  hehe...

    i tried once and it was not good, so i have been holding in a lot of crap.
    and you it really is true, when you are gambling, it hide things just like the drinking and drugs,
    i have not stopped gambling by choice, only having some problems, and that's just the way it is right now, but it
    is really the first time i have stopped in YEARS, and it is amazing of all the things that i try to numb with my gambling are all  hittting  me full force now....i may have to start drinking again, or something....hehe  smiley

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