I never lost my faith, but I too questioned god a few times. My parents both died on the same day 8 years apart..both very tragically, homicide and suicide..and my son passed away when he was 16 months old from RSV. I always felt things happened for a reason, but what in the world was the reason for all of these things...Im still trying to find that out. I have 5 living children so I do my best to work through it, but its hard, very hard. I know, that one day my questions will have answers, but waiting for them is the hard part.

What Dreams may come, a great movie with Robin Williams, it answers a lot of questions.  If and when you ever loose someone, that even the word love, is not enough to explain how you felt about them. Then you will search and wonder where are they, are they ok, where did they go.  I did that with my brother who I more than just loved. He died a John Doe with a tag on his toe for 2 wks. Until they ran his finger prints and found that he served in the Navy and then finally found me. He died in a car accident and when the car impacted at over a hundred miles, no he was not speeding the highway patrol said the impact was hundred miles an hr due to each vehicle was going about 50 to 60 miles per hr the patrol officer said you add the two and get the rate of impact. Everything in the car including his license registration etc flew out and was not found at the time of the accident. I drove to a place called Gila Bend in Arizona (where the accident occured) and found his id in the tumbleweeds alongside the road. That was 2 wks later, he had his dog in the car he survived. The paramedics said a dog ran out of the desert to the car where my brother was hanging out the passenger window and his dog layed down like a lion right by him and growled at the paramedics then they figured out this dog was in this car. They landed 2 flight life helicopters but he died at the scene.

Oh my...... u have my deepest & sincerest sympathies Mommy.  Ya know, I think we all 4get sometimes that none of us truly knows what others have gone thru in their lives.  We go about our days thinking only of ourselves & our problems; I'm guilty of it 2.  But then I c stories like your's, and honest-2-God it gives me strength.  Nothing any1 says can take away your pain; but I do so very much believe that God has a plan.  We may not understand it, or even like it, but I trust that u will find the answers u seek 1 day.  Perhaps not in this life, but u will.  May God bless u.....