I wouldn't change him for anything although I do look at him like an alien when he eats left over pasta with hot sauce for breakfast and I have toast.

I agree whole heartedly that quirks help to maintain that spark. Opposites do attract.

Let me give a brief psychological interpretation here.

First, we give off "signals" in attracting a mate. These signals were constructed from our formation in our families of origin and how we are basically "wired."  Yes, yes, yes...there is a magical/romantic component; however, never underestimate how we are psychologically put-together is a HUGE factor in who we attract.  We don't "get who we deserve"  (Though often we do!) rather, we get who we are wired to attract.

Also, always remember, people MIGHT adjust routines and a few habits.  (Yes, men can learn to put the toilet seat up!)  But, to try to significantly change who someone fundamentally IS can be a messy, frustrating business.  Nagging someone into changing hardly ever works.  And nagging someone who has chronic bad behavior or addiction runs the high risk of them engaging more deeply into the bad behavior.  (In other words, PLENTY of drunks found  in the gutter had just been nagged the night before by their spouse to stop drinking.  Plently of people who drive home from Vegas broke and the credit cards maxed out were naggged by a spouse to stop gambling.)

1.  Pick a generally healthy spouse TO BEGIN WITH.  2.  Accecptance therapy.  Rejoice in your partners differences! 

persoannly, it's why I have lovers and friends; bitch to the lover about friend and vice versa, as well, as seeking advice from one for the other and balancing it out with my own opinionns and insight

Hey Doc, now your talkin about serious stuff here. In your past sessions, your advocating, (incourageing people to change)? This type of counseling is only for the people, outside of the law. (ex. drug, alcohol, sex, etc.).
For people with issues, that are inside the law compromise, and only compromise, is the remedy. Unless I've been totally out in right field for years, and the industry, has done a 180 degree turn.
I think it's safe to say, in general people are aware of the terrible rate of success, change therapy has, when applied to us human individuals.
Zuga, your thoughts on the issue are 100% correct. AS I mentioned above, the serious issues need to be dealt with on that level, ( change therapy, would be comparable to shock therapy). Daily issues, where people break down, or feel they need therapy, ( ex. I'm having a terrible day beause my car didn't start this morning) simply put, these are Co- dependent issues. As humans, we can work through these, not all of us, but the majority can. For an individual, believeing they need therapy for their daily issues, all their doing is switching their Co.
Any good professional will imediately see this, and encourage the individual to basically get a grip, and deal with it, ( this occurs quickly, after only a few visits). Some people need to be taught tricks to believe in themselves, and apply these tricks, to the decisions they make in life, to succeed in a proper way.
Man, now I'm starting to pick apart this topic. Probably went to far. I gotta say this, Doc, maybe I miss-understood your last post. I stand corrected if I did . If I didn't, could you please be a bit more specific?
                                       Rico

Rico...well worded!

I was basically responding to Zuga's statement "to me its just a waste of money."

Yes, at times it sure IS a waste of money.  (But, when I was a psychologist if someone wanted to pay me $300 to tell me lies, exhibit denial, or try to convince me they are well adjusted....well....why not???!!)

But, there are people who benefit from therapy:  People going through divorce, job loss, victims of violent crime, children who have been molested, etc.  Even on this site people have stated regarding their gambling they are at a point they "need to get some help."  Contrary to Zuga's respectable experience, therapy is more than getting "advice."  In fact, no theraputic discipline understands itselfself as advice-giving.  Additionally, while getting a "beer with your mates" may really be preferable (Works, for me!), with many it would be insufficient.

I am thankful for this good forum where ideas are freely exchanged.  Cheers!